Saturday, December 04, 2010


’The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich has many friends’-PROVERBS

Hi dear, i have not been here in a while...'activities'.lol. Very quickly today, i’ll want to continue on the series on building relationships. We have concluded that there are four types of relationships: mentoring (head), mate (contemporary), mentee (protégé), and marital (spouse). I have carved out the M’s for easy remembrance-'4M’s of relationship' and also said four perhaps because that signifies balance. You are possibly sitting on a 4-leg chair and working on a 4-leg table, driving a 4-wheel car, living in a 4-wall house... Four because you have north, south, east and west. Also remember, when you have these you are fully covered; your mentor ahead of you, your mate one side, your mentee behind and your spouse on the other side. Maybe you want to ask, how about ‘up and down’. Well, you have Source (God) up and you trample on the devil downward. I guess I’m communicating. These have been the crux of the above subject. Those said; let’s move on to ‘mate’ relationship. Do enjoy.

By ‘mate’, I mean a contemporary. This is the second stage of our talk. We need to understand the power in relationships. I can’t over emphasize, everything rises and falls on it. The essence of this series is to cause us to be deliberate about cultivating them. No man succeeds in isolation. The solution you need on that issue may not be as ‘spiritual’ as you think it is, it may just be relational. I remember sometime ago in the city where i live, i became ‘stranded’ and tried all i could until i got across one of my ‘big sis friend’ who introduced me to the commissioner for health at that time. Just some few lines inscribed on his card was what i needed for that ‘breakthrough’ (loads of others...). How about if i didn’t know the lady or the lady didn’t know that figure-relationships .Someone has said, 5 years from now, i will tell your future by the books you read and the friends i see you keep. Indeed your friends determine your end. It is not by force, it is by choice. Several years ago, i decided i was gonna have friends in every facet of life; social, political, spiritual, economical, entertainment, sport etc. You never can tell, you never can tell, dearie.

In building relationships 2, i made mention of how Jehoram in the bible who could succeed at a time just because of his relationship with Jehoshaphat. I also did mention how Paul didn’t state any armour to protect our back (Eph 6) cos i believe ‘he understands’ that in a battle you really do not bother who is behind you cos you’re sure that person is your friend and not foe and that’s why it’s been asked; Who’s got your back? See, on this forum, in the past few months i have met folks who are doing well in their spheres of influence, we communicate, get to share thoughts etc. In fact, i recently meet some physically and we got talking more. Talking about the ‘delibracy’ in building relationships. Life revolves around it, dear-that cannot be over-emphasised. I should put a reminder; a man’s enemy are members of his household and that's why you must be selective about this. It is not by force but by choice. I must also say that though relationships could be your greatest assets, it could also be your greatest threat. That’s why there are; SUBTRACTORS, DIVIDERS, ADDERS AND MULTIPLYERS. Seek for the last two. Though the first two could also be learning points...hmmmh.

Quickly, before I drop, I also think I should share on the levels of relationship so we don’t go and become a victim; 1.Acquaintance level 2.Friendship level 3.Covenant/Accountability partner level. See, you must not jump this order in building’s is step by step:

Acquaintance level: this is the ‘hi hi’ level. You just know each other by name. Exchange pleasantries and that’s about all. You just ‘know’ the person. No serious bond yet. Just on a casual level. You know what i’m saying.
Friendship level: at this point, you begin to know some details. He/she actually becomes your friend. You assist one another in timed of need. Know some bit of each other’s secrets. You network! Rich men know these principles and that’s why they keep like-minded folks close by. hmmmh; ‘Iron sharpens iron ; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend’(Proverbs 27:17).This also begins on a casual level before it becomes intimate. See, ’the poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich has many friends’-Proverbs 14:20
Covenant/Accountability Partners: this is the climax and a classical example is the relationship between Jonathan and David. This person knows virtually everything about you. Your weaknesses, pains, joys, disappointments etc. Usually many folks have this as their as spouses but since most of us don’t have one yet, then? But those on this level should be few, 1, 2 or 3 at most for obvious reasons.

Friend let me get to know you more (i mean, let’s get knowing each other better). Let’s ‘inbox’, let’s talk, let’s share ideas. I need you to survive. You need me as well. Let’s build a big family. It’s your nod/signature/comment i may need tomorrow. You may also just need my call/presence etc the next hour. Remember, that your ‘breakthrough’ may just be a relationship away-BUILD IT.

Let’s see these:

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity- Prov 17:17

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer

than a brother-Prov 27:6

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful-Prov 27:6

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty

Counsel-Prov 27:9

Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother's house in

the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off-Prov27:10

I’m coming back with ‘Mentee relationship’. You wouldn’t want to miss that.

P.S: If you are reading this for the first time them simply go to or click on my notes on FB to read the previous in the series.

Be all YOU CAN

No comments: