Thursday, April 28, 2011

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS(7)-MENTEE RELATIONSHIP(2) *special*

You need a head to go ahead, stay ahead and make headway - Olaniyi Soyinka

Several weeks ago, my elder brother; John gave me an e-copy of a book authored by Dr. Mike Murdock titled; SECRETS OF THE RICHEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED (the book’s been “around” for a while). While just ‘browsing’ through it,  I came across chapter 22 that talks about mentoring and so I have chosen to let us have this as the 7th in the series on “building relationships”. The book actually contains 31 chapters and so I’ll be using the whole of the month of May (one chapter each day) to do a study. You may want you to join. Now, the month of May is by birth month (May, 5th) so I have decided to give you this book as my birthday gift-I expect yours too. LOL. Just send an empty mail with the title of the book as subject to ‘successkatalyst@gmail.com’ and let’s do the study together. I will also be posting on FB as usual.
Now let’s see what Mentor Mike Murdock has got to say. Please patiently read through...enjoy

Solomon Trusted His Mentor
Mentors are golden bridges to your future.

Mentors are those who have been where you want to go. They have done something you want to accomplish. Their endurance qualifies them to counsel and advise you.
Solomon makes many references to "being taught." The golden thread that runs through all his writings is the importance of "hearing the instructions" of others.
He described those who rebelled against mentorship as fools, and those who respected correction as wise. In Proverbs 9:9, he says, Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.


Solomon's father, David, was a great psalmist and warrior of Israel. It is almost certain that at some point, he shared with Solomon concerning his desire to build the temple. It is also likely that David confided in Solomon that God had refused him because he was a man of war. It is an uncommon protégé who qualifies to hear in confidentiality the mentor's painful moments. Solomon qualified.
Solomon was proud of the fact that God had spoken about his assignment to his mentor, King David. He freely addressed it in front of the people. This was also the case with Samuel, who as a young boy was mentored by the old priest, Eli. God conversed with Samuel and disclosed certain confidential matters with him concerning Eli. Uncommon mentors recognize the hand of God on uncommon protégés.
Here are twelve important keys on mentorship:


1. Your mentor is a gift from God. Don't treat him lightly. Celebrate him. Pursue him.


2. You will need to pursue your mentor. He does not need you nearly as much as you need him.


3. He does not require your knowledge, but you require his. He has already accomplished his dreams without you. Your dreams are still to be established. Your problems are those he has already solved.


4. Your mentor is not your cheerleader. He is your coach.


5. Your mentor is not present to confirm what you are doing right, but to correct what you are doing wrong.


6. Focus on the centre of your mentor's expertise. There may be other areas of weakness in your mentor's life. Your lawyer may not be a great cook, so focus on learning legal matters from him rather than cooking.


7. Schedule private moments with your mentor. He will speak differently to you in private than he will in the presence of others. Something exclusively for you will emerge if you'll take the time.


8. Keep in continuous touch with your mentor, and ask appropriate questions as they arise. Keep your notebook handy. When a thought or idea arises, document it. Then discuss it on the telephone or when you meet with him.


9. Your mentor will usually only comment on the subjects you ask about. I have seen those around me make a number of mistakes. Sometimes my schedule was too hectic or their interest too low for me to comment effectively. Later, they approached me and shared their failure. I knew it would happen all along. But, they were unwilling to pursue information prior to their decisions.


10. Don’t share the trusted secrets received from your mentor with just anyone. That's what keeps your relationship special. For various reasons, I have heard comments and thoughts from my mentors that I could never share publicly. But, those words and comments enabled me to understand more about the humanity of my mentors and the touch of God on their lives.


11. Recognize that the humanness of your mentor is there to be an encouragement, not a distraction. If your mentor was perfect, he would not be able to tolerate your presence! You see, if you observe extraordinary success from someone obviously flawed, you can draw confidence from them. You, too, can experience unusual success, despite your own weaknesses. It is also helpful to watch what others do wrong, so you can learn from their mistakes.


12. You must be prepared to live your life without your mentor present. David died and Solomon then had to depend upon God completely and totally.

Solomon celebrated the discoveries of others.
There are people around you who have something that you do not have. Never forget this. Others have experienced events, made observations, and know things you have not yet discovered. Celebrate their discoveries.
Solomon collected 3,000 proverbs of extraordinary wisdom. He retrieved, used, and protected the wisdom of his father, David, and many others. At the same time, he embraced new discoveries and perceived additional revelation. He was not a "know-it-all." He reached out to others and recognized their skills, gifts, and talents. His dream of building the greatest Temple on earth could not have been realized had he not celebrated the discoveries of others.
Recently, a young man who has told everyone that I am his mentor approached me. He kept talking about being my "protégé." So, I decided to put him to a little test.
"You claim to be my protégé. Tell me the last three questions you have asked me."
He looked stunned. He thought... and thought... and thought. He could not recall a single question he had asked me in the previous thirty days, even though he had direct access to me and had sat by my side in meeting after meeting, hour after hour.
He had never asked me one question.
It is probably inaccurate to call yourself a protégé of someone you never discuss anything with. If you make important decisions without the counsel of your mentor, you are not really his or her protégé. If you spend huge amounts of money without asking for counsel from your mentor, you cannot be categorized as a true protégé.
The following four qualities are true of the Uncommon Protégé.


1. The Uncommon protégé celebrates the discoveries of his mentor.


2. The Uncommon protégé recognizes his need to change. If you fail to recognize your need for change, you will never pursue change. You will not appreciate those around you who require it and urge you toward it.


3. The Uncommon protégé trusts his mentor. He is willing to consider his instructions whether he understands or not. Elisha did this when Elijah told him, "If you see me when I'm taken, you will receive the double portion." Elisha may not have known what that meant, but he trusted his mentor.
Ruth trusted Naomi when she suggested she visit the home of Boaz. Ruth seemed very contented as a single woman. But, she listened carefully to the words of her mentor.
A protégé, who refuses to follow the instructions of his mentor, is indicating that he does not completely trust his mentor's counsel. This is a dangerous situation for a protege. The seed of uncertainty will eventually lead to division and criticism of his mentor. Every time I have seen habitual and flagrant disregard for my instructions, I have watched a critical spirit develop in my protégés.


4. The Uncommon protégé knows that when he stops asking, the mentor stops answering. Mentors often wait to be asked and they know many things that they never discuss. It is only when the protégé asks that the answers begin to flow.

This happened in the life of Jesus. He knew many things but not until the disciples asked did He begin to answer. The Ethiopian eunuch had a need, but it was only when he asked Philip to join him that he received Philip's help (See Acts 8).
Solomon was an uncommon protégé. He trusted his mentor. He understood that this is one of the Golden Secrets that helped him become The Richest Man Who Ever Lived.


P.S: We ain’t done with “Mentee Relationship” yet so watch out...thanks for reading. REMEMBER TO DO ME THE MAIL AND LET'S GET TO LEARN the secrets of the richest man that ever lived.lol

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

L + L = L


‘You are the light of the world! A city built upon a hill, not be concealed.-Matthew 5:14


This is one of the striking messages of our Master and I thought to share with us especially in this season. God is usually in the business of calling us what He has empowered us to be rather than what we are at the moment. This we can see, from the old to the New Testament. Abraham (father of many nations), Gideon (mighty man of valour) etc .More so, I do like to say that other than ours being a dispensation of grace, it is one of responsibility.

Jesus says, ‘You are the light of the world’.hmmmmn...I made an interesting discovery. See, for every light, there must be a source whether it is candle light, that from PHCN (electricity custodians in Nigeria)-‘power’, thunderstorm etc, there is always a base and so I thought to ask myself what the base of the light that Jesus describes here is. My conclusion resulted in L + L=L. Yeah, not 2L just like it is said in marriage 1+1=1. The Ls respectively represent; LOVE, LIFE n LIGHT.
This is it:
LOVE + LIFE=LIGHT
The combined ‘force’ of love and life produce light...cest finis.


The call of the master is that of influence. The truth is that the whole world is in darkness and the solution (salt, light) is the believer. We have been given a leadership mandate-to salt and light our world (our focus today is on the light). Let me say hear that being the light is not necessarily in your confession; it is rather in the expression of your nature. I am saying that you do not confess your ‘lightness’, you rather express it by love and by the expression of the life you carry. Now let’s deal with each.

LOVE
This is one of the fundamentals of the Christian faith and in fact, the summary of the commandment is; love the Lord your God with all your strength and might and your neighbour as yourself. Until this is foundational in our lives, we can never ‘shine’. Genuine and sincere love for God and people (believers and none) is key. We have no reason to keep someone in mind for any offence; no reason to do wickedly cos that love is shed abroad in our hearts. We have been commanded/’condemned’ to owe no man nothing other than love (Rom 13:8)...woooow! That’s striking!!! Bro John made some profound statements:
‘For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
Not as Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother. And wherefore slew he him?
             Because his own works were evil, and his brother's righteous.
             Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hates you.
             We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. 

                                                                                                                                                                        He 
that loves not his brother abides in death.
      Whosoever hates his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath          
             eternal life abiding in him’.

            

      Perhaps one of the only words ‘God is’ in scriptures is that He is love. GOD IS LOVE!!!
      John also says’ If a man says, he loves God and hates his brother, he is a liar: for he that            does not love his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not         seen?’
         I only know you are a God-lover if you are a man-lover. Love makes the world turn around. Someone has asked, ‘you know JOHN 3:16, how about 1st John 3:16?’ I put the same question to us and I urge us today, LET Y/OUR LOVE SO SHINE BEFORE MEN...this is a great secret to your/my ‘shinning’.

      

       LIFE

       Dear pal, as believers, there is a life that we carry and you know what, it is the life of God (Zoe). Can anyone beat that? You and I carry the life of God and so we cannot afford to live an average life. The average life is not characteristic of the life of our God-it is rather a life of excellence. We should rather be wo/men who give this life out. You know what I mean; you are not the sick needing healing but the healthy looking for someone to ‘transfer’ that on. You are not the dull student requiring help, you are one whose memory is blessed and who can teach his/her teacher (mehn!). John still had something to say on this; ‘And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son’. Awesome!!! I feel like preaching.lol. In another place it says; In him was life (zoe); and the life (zoe) was the light (phos) of men. Still in another place, scriptures say; greater is He in me that he that is in the world. This is gospel my dear.

       We are to be examples to our world and if this understanding is ingrained, our impact is sure. Don’t pursue fame rather pursue and dwell on these truths and then your shinning will never be neglected no matter where you are. John was in a ‘bush’ somewhere and loads of people followed him (he wasn’t even born again) 




        Friend, the next time you wanna lay your hand on your head to confess that you are the light of the world and that you’ll arise n shine, please do a love check and a life check. If you are ok, go on, if not, don’t waste your time confessing...e fit no work.lol. The truth is when you love and understand the life of GOD in you, your light is sure to shine.
        Now this is the reason for the season. All that Jesus came to do was to basically show us His love and His life-His love was shed to save us and His life given to empower us. Remembering this in this season of His death and resurrection is the key to letting our light shine just like His has lighten the whole world. As He is so are we...Reflect on this in this period of celebration, my friend.
        Lastly, (I repeat) being ‘the light’ is not necessarily in your confession, it is rather in the ‘expression’ of your nature. Go do that sir/ma.
        Selah!!!

LOVE (agape) +LIFE (Zoë) = LIGHT (phos)

P.S: Last Saturday’s presidential election outcome has been causing some serious rancour/crises over here in Kaduna as well as some other parts of northern Nigeria. Please pray that peace be restored on time.
DO HAVE A GREAT EASTER CELEBRATION!!!

  


     Be all YOU CAN!



Sunday, April 10, 2011

BUILDING REALTIONSHIPS(6)-MENTEE RELATIONSHIP

“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” - Isaac Newton

Once again, life is all about relationships, all (I mean, all) other things are just details. You are where you are today strongly because of certain relationships and no doubt, you (and I) must be deliberate about them. It’s a choice. Do make a good one. To guide us, I have been on a series titled: BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS and this is the 6th (Now if you are just joining, kindly go to http://successkatalyst.blogspot.com to read the first 5-this doesn’t stop you from continuing this though). I have said let’s call these levels of relationship; THE 4M’s of relationship for easy remembrance: MENTOR, MATE, MENTEE AND MARITAL. That said; let’s get on with the mentee relationship.


Mentoring is a process for the informal transmission of knowledge, social capital, and the psychosocial support perceived by the recipient as relevant to work, career, or professional development; mentoring entails informal communication, usually face-to-face and during a sustained period of time, between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience (the mentor) and a person who is perceived to have less (the mentee)"-Wikipedia. I’ll like you in this series to see yourself in both positions; as a mentee and mentor. One of the undoings in our generation is that values, ideals, character, discipline are in the true sense not passed to the succeeding generations and this is perhaps one of the reasons we have mediocre performances in our various spheres of influence. Maybe the mentor doesn’t want to be outshined, maybe the mentee isn’t paying the right attention, maybe the mentor doesn’t have enough time, maybe the mentor wasn’t mentored-he got it ‘the hard-earned way’(you get me) and these ‘maybes’ could be the reasons why we have not had new breeds. My challenge today is that you are mentored (seek for) and that you also become a mentor-it doesn’t matter if you have not ‘arrived’ (do not allow the society determine how ‘successful’ you are or otherwise, you are ‘performing a show’ to an ‘audience’; Christ). If you have attained a measure of success in life then you have a story, help that other younger persons-the next generation. As a write, I have been really troubled in the area where I co-shepherd, I see young folks with great potentials but lack models, counsel or direction and who are already going astray. It grieves my heart greatly. I am pressured to begin a mentoring school in that light. Before I go any further, I’d like us to see some of the folks we have termed successes in our generation and see how they were mentored (directly and indirectly).


There have been many famous mentor-protege pairs throughout history. One of the earliest and most well-known was Paul of Tarsus and Timothy, a first-century Christian bishop. Minister, activist, and Morehouse college president Dr. Benjamin Elijah Mays served as a mentor to Martin Luther King, Jr.; and the poet Ezra Pound guided a fledgling T.S. Eliot through his literary career. Most recently, the protege concept has been illustrated through billionaire Donald Trump's reality television show The Apprentice, where young men and women compete for the opportunity to claim Trump as their business mentor.


There aren’t too many people that have had a more profound effect on the world than Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi, like you and I had a mentor, Dadabhai Naoroji. Dadabhai helped start the Indian Independence Movement in 1857 and Gandhi was able to complete the task on August 15th 1947 which handed the country of India back to it’s people. This movement was the first and largest non violent resistance the world had ever seen and involved 50 million people within India. This all came from a person who had limited success starting a law practice in Mumbai and was also turned down for a part-time teaching position. While not being a direct mentor, Gandhi has been noted as an inspiration for Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela among others.
It’s difficult to imagine that one of the most successful investors the world has seen was mentored at one time.


In fact, Warren Buffett was mentored by Ben Graham while at Columbia University. Buffett celebrates Graham’s book, The Intelligent Investor, as the greatest book on investing ever written. It’s interesting to note that Ben Graham once owned a small insurance company you may have heard of before, GEICO. Apparently Ben Graham taught his student well as Warren Buffett now owns GEICO.


Mother Teresa committed her life to God through good works and truly helping others. Instead of living a comfortable life in a convent, she decided to live among the poorest of the poor and help them even though she had no income to speak of. Mother Teresa received permission from the Vatican to start Missionaries of Charity. It started with 13 members to help the hungry and homeless - those shunned by society. Today, there are more than 4,000 nuns operating orphanages, AIDS hospices, and various charities worldwide. She led a remarkable and revered life, but she may not have achieved all that she did if it weren’t for her mentor, Father Michael van der Peet



Michael Jordan is arguably the best basketball player to ever play the game. LeBron James and Kobe Bryant might think otherwise, but they are referred to as “the Next Jordan”, not the other way around. Michael Jordan was a great player, having earned Rookie of the Year, but it wasn’t until he was joined with his coach and mentor, Phil Jackson, that he flourished. Under Phil Jackson’s first year as coach of the Chicago Bulls, and the help of young players Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant, Michael Jordan and the Bulls were able to win their first NBA title. Michael Jordan amassed 6 NBA titles and became the most decorated NBA player ever under Phil Jackson.


You’re only limited by what you think is possible. Figure out what you want and then find someone who’s done it. Get a mentor (become one), ask for their counsel, become comfortable with what they’ve done, and then make it your own.

There are still loads to talk about, do watch out for the next post this coming weekend.


Be all YOU CAN!