Thursday, April 28, 2011

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS(7)-MENTEE RELATIONSHIP(2) *special*

You need a head to go ahead, stay ahead and make headway - Olaniyi Soyinka

Several weeks ago, my elder brother; John gave me an e-copy of a book authored by Dr. Mike Murdock titled; SECRETS OF THE RICHEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED (the book’s been “around” for a while). While just ‘browsing’ through it,  I came across chapter 22 that talks about mentoring and so I have chosen to let us have this as the 7th in the series on “building relationships”. The book actually contains 31 chapters and so I’ll be using the whole of the month of May (one chapter each day) to do a study. You may want you to join. Now, the month of May is by birth month (May, 5th) so I have decided to give you this book as my birthday gift-I expect yours too. LOL. Just send an empty mail with the title of the book as subject to ‘successkatalyst@gmail.com’ and let’s do the study together. I will also be posting on FB as usual.
Now let’s see what Mentor Mike Murdock has got to say. Please patiently read through...enjoy

Solomon Trusted His Mentor
Mentors are golden bridges to your future.

Mentors are those who have been where you want to go. They have done something you want to accomplish. Their endurance qualifies them to counsel and advise you.
Solomon makes many references to "being taught." The golden thread that runs through all his writings is the importance of "hearing the instructions" of others.
He described those who rebelled against mentorship as fools, and those who respected correction as wise. In Proverbs 9:9, he says, Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.


Solomon's father, David, was a great psalmist and warrior of Israel. It is almost certain that at some point, he shared with Solomon concerning his desire to build the temple. It is also likely that David confided in Solomon that God had refused him because he was a man of war. It is an uncommon protégé who qualifies to hear in confidentiality the mentor's painful moments. Solomon qualified.
Solomon was proud of the fact that God had spoken about his assignment to his mentor, King David. He freely addressed it in front of the people. This was also the case with Samuel, who as a young boy was mentored by the old priest, Eli. God conversed with Samuel and disclosed certain confidential matters with him concerning Eli. Uncommon mentors recognize the hand of God on uncommon protégés.
Here are twelve important keys on mentorship:


1. Your mentor is a gift from God. Don't treat him lightly. Celebrate him. Pursue him.


2. You will need to pursue your mentor. He does not need you nearly as much as you need him.


3. He does not require your knowledge, but you require his. He has already accomplished his dreams without you. Your dreams are still to be established. Your problems are those he has already solved.


4. Your mentor is not your cheerleader. He is your coach.


5. Your mentor is not present to confirm what you are doing right, but to correct what you are doing wrong.


6. Focus on the centre of your mentor's expertise. There may be other areas of weakness in your mentor's life. Your lawyer may not be a great cook, so focus on learning legal matters from him rather than cooking.


7. Schedule private moments with your mentor. He will speak differently to you in private than he will in the presence of others. Something exclusively for you will emerge if you'll take the time.


8. Keep in continuous touch with your mentor, and ask appropriate questions as they arise. Keep your notebook handy. When a thought or idea arises, document it. Then discuss it on the telephone or when you meet with him.


9. Your mentor will usually only comment on the subjects you ask about. I have seen those around me make a number of mistakes. Sometimes my schedule was too hectic or their interest too low for me to comment effectively. Later, they approached me and shared their failure. I knew it would happen all along. But, they were unwilling to pursue information prior to their decisions.


10. Don’t share the trusted secrets received from your mentor with just anyone. That's what keeps your relationship special. For various reasons, I have heard comments and thoughts from my mentors that I could never share publicly. But, those words and comments enabled me to understand more about the humanity of my mentors and the touch of God on their lives.


11. Recognize that the humanness of your mentor is there to be an encouragement, not a distraction. If your mentor was perfect, he would not be able to tolerate your presence! You see, if you observe extraordinary success from someone obviously flawed, you can draw confidence from them. You, too, can experience unusual success, despite your own weaknesses. It is also helpful to watch what others do wrong, so you can learn from their mistakes.


12. You must be prepared to live your life without your mentor present. David died and Solomon then had to depend upon God completely and totally.

Solomon celebrated the discoveries of others.
There are people around you who have something that you do not have. Never forget this. Others have experienced events, made observations, and know things you have not yet discovered. Celebrate their discoveries.
Solomon collected 3,000 proverbs of extraordinary wisdom. He retrieved, used, and protected the wisdom of his father, David, and many others. At the same time, he embraced new discoveries and perceived additional revelation. He was not a "know-it-all." He reached out to others and recognized their skills, gifts, and talents. His dream of building the greatest Temple on earth could not have been realized had he not celebrated the discoveries of others.
Recently, a young man who has told everyone that I am his mentor approached me. He kept talking about being my "protégé." So, I decided to put him to a little test.
"You claim to be my protégé. Tell me the last three questions you have asked me."
He looked stunned. He thought... and thought... and thought. He could not recall a single question he had asked me in the previous thirty days, even though he had direct access to me and had sat by my side in meeting after meeting, hour after hour.
He had never asked me one question.
It is probably inaccurate to call yourself a protégé of someone you never discuss anything with. If you make important decisions without the counsel of your mentor, you are not really his or her protégé. If you spend huge amounts of money without asking for counsel from your mentor, you cannot be categorized as a true protégé.
The following four qualities are true of the Uncommon Protégé.


1. The Uncommon protégé celebrates the discoveries of his mentor.


2. The Uncommon protégé recognizes his need to change. If you fail to recognize your need for change, you will never pursue change. You will not appreciate those around you who require it and urge you toward it.


3. The Uncommon protégé trusts his mentor. He is willing to consider his instructions whether he understands or not. Elisha did this when Elijah told him, "If you see me when I'm taken, you will receive the double portion." Elisha may not have known what that meant, but he trusted his mentor.
Ruth trusted Naomi when she suggested she visit the home of Boaz. Ruth seemed very contented as a single woman. But, she listened carefully to the words of her mentor.
A protégé, who refuses to follow the instructions of his mentor, is indicating that he does not completely trust his mentor's counsel. This is a dangerous situation for a protege. The seed of uncertainty will eventually lead to division and criticism of his mentor. Every time I have seen habitual and flagrant disregard for my instructions, I have watched a critical spirit develop in my protégés.


4. The Uncommon protégé knows that when he stops asking, the mentor stops answering. Mentors often wait to be asked and they know many things that they never discuss. It is only when the protégé asks that the answers begin to flow.

This happened in the life of Jesus. He knew many things but not until the disciples asked did He begin to answer. The Ethiopian eunuch had a need, but it was only when he asked Philip to join him that he received Philip's help (See Acts 8).
Solomon was an uncommon protégé. He trusted his mentor. He understood that this is one of the Golden Secrets that helped him become The Richest Man Who Ever Lived.


P.S: We ain’t done with “Mentee Relationship” yet so watch out...thanks for reading. REMEMBER TO DO ME THE MAIL AND LET'S GET TO LEARN the secrets of the richest man that ever lived.lol

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